The day I was told my baby would die

I can remember that day like it was yesterday. I was working in my cubicle on a spring morning when the phone rang. It was my O.B. doctor as I was 10 weeks pregnant with my daughter in 2011. She sounded somber and proceeded to explain that she reviewed my recent sonogram and was concerned. I cannot tell you the exact conversation – but she basically told me that I needed to prepare myself because most likely my baby would die. Yikes, now, I know she did not say it that harshly… but there is really not a “gentle” way to say it.

You see, I diagnosed myself with a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH) after I gushed red blood at 6 weeks. The ER doctor confirmed my baby was okay. But my spotting did not quit. As a first time pregnant mom reading every book, app and article online – bleeding is never a good sign. Being your own medical advocate is the best thing anyone can do for their health. I found a message board that educated me from actual experiences, many similar to mine. My doctor did not even know what a SCH was – I explained to her that it is a common condition in pregnant women in which a blood clot in the mother’s uterus threatens a miscarriage of the embryo. In early pregnancy, the blood clot can be multiple times the size of the embryo or fetus – so if the blood clot passes, it could take the baby with it or separate the placenta from the uterus wall. Sadly, this does happen to many pregnancies and many moms lose their baby never knowing about this condition as the cause. We are taught that miscarriages are common and “just happen”.

 

When my doctor was through telling me the grim news, I immediately scheduled an appointment with a specialist. Luckily I was able to get in the next week. As soon as I walked in, I felt comforted being in the hands of an expert of my condition. Within the next few minutes, my worries completely faded as he took one look at my SCH and told me everything was going to be just fine. He had seen much worse. I was overcome with gratitude and felt incredibly blessed. My SCH resolved itself completely 3 weeks later at 14 weeks.

While I consider myself lucky, even though this is a common condition, the gut wrenching reality of others I read about in the online message board was devastating. SCH has taken the lives of many babies, even some close to full term.

I am not a medical professional, but I know my body better than any doctor – so I personally took one 81 mg. aspirin every day in my second pregnancy knowing this could happen again (if you do this, be sure to stop taking it 6 weeks before your due date). I had such a small SCH the ultrasound tech never even mentioned it… I knew to ask though.

If you feel like you may have a SCH or have been diagnosed, talk to your doctor about seeing a Perinatologist for a specialist consultation. Also, I always recommend baby aspirin or also called low dose aspirin. Be sure its only 81mg and only take one daily. This helps with blood clotting, preclamsia and other blood issues.  There are studies that show positive affects and no negative ones… so my thought is why not! Better safe than sorry.

 

God is good, because this now 6 year old girl is my favorite human.

Allie Kindergarten

How to “find” money in a tight budget

3 ways to have more money working for you

Are you strapped for cash at the end of the month? Does it feel like you just cannot get ahead to pay down debt or save money for an emergency?

I get it… I have been there. I have found ways to help work FOR us and our financial goals.

You see, in 2009 I just landed my “big girl job” with a $65,000 student loan bill to pay. Yikes… I should have worked more in college, but the damage was already done. It was time to face it and pay it. My MINIMUM payments were almost $500 per month. On top of that, we had a $5,000 honeymoon to pay for upon our return (how rude, credit card), then life started to happen with cars, babies and holy debt, batman.

We were looking at close to $90,000 of debt that we dug ourselves into. Once we stopped the bleeding (STOPPED borrowing money, we made a decision to get serious and get out of the hole, build a pile to stand on feeling like we were “King of the Mountain” as we were finally free… no longer “slave to the lender” (what Dave Ramsey says).

We are down to our FINAL $17,000 of debt (yes, it took forever), but have almost done it nonetheless. Here is what we did that helped…

3 TIPS to find more money to work for you while in debt. 

Use any “bonus money” wisely. If you get overtime, bonus checks, tax refund money or really any unplanned money, put it to work FOR you. Set it in a separate account until you make a decision on where it will go. Or use a budget software such as YNAB to “set it aside” digitally. Budgeting is seriously THE most important key to telling your money where to go. If you need guidance on where to get started, sign up for my free budget worksheet & demos. Bottom line… put your money to work. Stop wondering where it went and start TELLING it where to go.

Adjust your tax withholding. If you have a tax professional, ask them to help you determine what to “claim”. This number determines how much money is withheld from your paycheck to pay your taxes. I was getting too large of a refund ($3K+), so I adjusted and got an additional $400 per month. That is a lot! The trick here is to keep your current budget (spend the same) and set up an allotment for that $400 to go into a separate checking account. Then, you can make a payment to debt or savings straight from that account each month. BOOM – extra money in your pocket that is for sure going to help you as long as YOU keep control of it.

Take advantage of tax savings plans. More specifically, if you have childcare or elderly care expenses, utilize the Flexible Spending Account – Dependent Care. Here is how WE use it to our advantage. The max is $5,000 per year. If your childcare expenses are at least that much, then sign up for the full amount. Note: you have to sign up every year. Its not like health insurance that renews until you change it. $192.30 will come out of your paycheck pre-taxed and set aside into the FSA account. Once we have paid $5,000 to daycare, we THEN will request reimbursement. I have the reimbursement go to a separate checking account in which its sole purpose is to collect money for debt payments. (I use CapOne 360 accounts).

Here is how that works. You can only collect what you have paid out of your paycheck. So, for example: We can claim the full $5,000 in June, but will only be paid $2,307.60 at that time. BUT, then, every time I get paid, $192.30 will stream into the checking account I have designated for the rest of the year.

6 months in my FSA account $2,307.60

6 months paid to childcare: $5,000

SO, as you can see – that $2,307.60 will immediately go to debt (or whatever goal you are working on) and every month from here on out this year, we will have $384.60 to put towards debt as well. Pretty genius, huh!

The key here is to always control your money. Make a decision on what that money will do for you that aligns with your financial goals. Never add it to your main checking account – it will get lost and then one day you will look up and wonder where it went. Your mindset shift is critical. This of that money as soldiers and they have one job to do… in this case, help you get ahead.

Another great savings plan is the Health Savings Account with a High Deductible Health Insurance Plan. Ask your employer if they offer it and if they contribute monthly. My employer contributes $150 per month to my account, my husbands employer contributes $100 to his (we have separate). Anyone can use the money as long as its a health related reason. So, we can share the money between our household. The premiums are lower, but you pay out of pocket (using the money in your HSA) for some doctors visits or up to your deductible for more serious conditions. This money will stay with you forever – it does not expire like an FSA does. You can also invest it when it reaches $1000.

 

Welcome to my blog – my voice – my life

30709318_10105672902325229_7294008663834968482_nI have always had so much to say, so much to share, and so much to teach. I am so passionate about helping others live their best life. One full of positive mindset, life freedoms, overcoming challenges and designing the life you want to live and deserve. I hope you find value in my blog posts. Always feel free to reach out to me if you are struggling or need a little more 1:1 guidance.

I promise to keep it real, honest & fun. I am a #hotmess business woman who has every hand and foot into something while being a momma of 2 and a wife to my high school sweetheart. We have manifested the life we life – and have so much more to do. I am blessed to have been through some hard shiz in my life to teach others how to overcome. I am grateful for my blessings and the people in my life who support me. I am far from perfect… but for some reason beyond me, I have survived to help others. My hope is that my voice will be your strength, and together we will conquer all to total freedom and happiness.

 

xoxo

Katie